As recruiters, we try to account for every possible contingency that might arise during the course of an interview.
Unfortunately, there are simply too many variables that come into play
in such a format, and every so often a planned meeting that appears to
be a sure thing evolves into the missed opportunity of a career. Here
are some fantastic ways to turn that smiling face on the other side of
the desk into a gargoyle in no time at all.
1. Look for any way you can to annoy, insult, or otherwise put off the office administrator.
More than one person has told me that after each interview they make a
beeline to this person’s desk to determine if the potential candidate
has the ability to order a hamburger without throwing a sugar packet at
the waiter.
2. Wear a particular clothing ensemble that would be fantastic for a
day of digging clams, a Phish concert, or bucking up the tree that fell
in the backyard. Extra points if this is done despite the fact that your
recruitment
professional made a specific goal to buttonhole the employer regarding
what his basic expectations are and relayed this information to you well
ahead of time.
3. Shoot for a spoken word to heard word ratio of about 1500:1.
Wonder why they are looking at their watch 15 minutes of the
conversation was hijacked.
4. Make certain to let the interviewer
know how much you wish your current/former employer would be audited,
succumb to scurvy, or suffer any form of indignity that would be forever
immortalized on the internet.
5. Bring up the subject of money immediately after you shake hands
with the person conducting the interview. Very few things excite a
company more than a potential team member who clearly has little more on
his mind than how much he will make and how soon the options will fully
vest.
6. Jokingly let the interviewer know that your Ivy League degree
has more cachet than his Ivy League degree. Yes, this actually
happened. Egos were bruised and the words “arrogant” and “no way” came
up.
7. Conduct a near perfect talk and forget to let the person know that you are truly interested in the job.
It took only one individual to let me know that they were excited to
move ahead with the hire, but they were unfortunately not clear as to
whether or not the feeling was mutual with a particular interviewee.
This person was indeed entirely excited about the opportunity but did
not convey it well. I now make certain that all candidates know this is
an absolutely essential interview component to address.
8. Following what you feel was a poor performance, hop in your convertible, peel out in the parking
lot, and fishtail your way into traffic. Find out later that the
company wanted to hire you but the CEO just happened to be looking out
the window at the time. Once again, a true story.
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